Lessons of Easter, Courtesy Turner Classic Movies

Day 2 of my personal blogging challenge (to attempt to bring this blog back to life), and I couldn't think of a List Post. I sort of don't know anything that could possibly interest anyone else in list format. I am a liberal arts major, the long winded justification is my forte.

But then came Easter, and like a very affordable angel, Turned Classic Movies delivered the true meaning of Easter in a marathon of rather strange films. And now I have my list, in the form of knowledge I must share with the world, in the form of:

Five Facts of Middle Eastern History I Bet Money You Were Never Taught in School

1. Women in Ancient Egypt, Pre-Rome Judea, and Ceasar's Rome wore Playtex girdle bras. Also, curling iron technology is older than I expected.

2.The weavers of Israel knew how to make gold lame. Truly, gods they were.

3. No woman is truly evil, provided she is under fifty and sort of hot; she's just waiting for a Real Man to show her the error of her ways. If he can summon lightning from the sky, this will help. If he cannot, he is not a Real Man and deserves calumny and betrayal anyhow.

4.Despite a heretofor unsuspected by me level of sophistication in fabric science, men of the ancient world held a passionate disdain for shirts. Perhaps there is a biblical injunction against the clothing of the male torso, at least if the torso has rock-hard abs?

And the big shocker, the one that really rocked my perception of the ancient world:

5. Jezebel, Herod's daughter, was...blond. We're talkin' cornsilk. At last, we know why Herod was such a jerk: the malignant melanomas had gone to his brain!

Classic movie history: Teach the controversy!**


**No offense meant to be stirred up here, but c'mon, "Teach the controversy!" is a fantastic thing to say, and I want it to become a pop culture catchphrase.